While ambling onto FB earlier, I came across a page suggestion titled “If someone ever says this ONE SENTENCE to you, 99% he/she likes you!” and of course, me being the nosy person that I am just HAD to go and check it out. As was expected, you had to first Like the page before you can access the contents of the page, so naturally I did. (Trust me, this was not my first time… although by now I have this brilliant plan cleverly devised in which I click Like to get the link and then quickly unLike it so no one sees it on their livefeed, thus eliminating the need for them to find out how much of a loser I am. I know, I’m genius.) Anyway, so I click the link that leads to that elusive/undoubtedly spectacular sentence, and big surprise, you have to first complete a survey/quiz in order to be able to read the page. And by now I’m starting to think that maybe it isn’t worth all this effort, but what the heck, I’m already halfway there, may as well see it through. I complete the most enlightening quiz in which they supposedly calculate my IQ based on my responses to the most originally-titled quiz, What To Do In An Interview. And of course, they need my cell number so they can give me my personal results from the quiz. Naturally. How else would they deliver the results? I type in the digits while simultaneously kicking myself in the face for being such an idiot in the first place. (Incidentally I got a “near-perfect” score, although judging by the amount of time I just wasted, my true score is probably closer closer to 0.) And FINALLY the long-awaited moment happens and after approximately 10 minutes of scrolling down an endless page of “Scroll down to see the sentence!“‘s I get to the bottom and read the sentence. I was utterly appalled. (NB: I was highly tempted to repeat that scrolling experience here but decided against it due to my better judgement)“Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?”
I more or less facepalmed myself when I read that. Make that repeatedly. OBVIOUSLY that question would infer that the asker had a reserved interest in the opposite party to whom he/she was speaking to. To top it off, the page justified this sentence with two equally rhetorical statements (and I quote):
- The reason people ask this question is because they want to know if you are taken or not!
- ANOTHER reason why people ask this question is to let you know that they are interested in you!
I nearly died when I read #2. Wasn’t the title of the initial FB page “If someone ever says this ONE SENTENCE to you, 99% he/she likes you!”? So didn’t we already cover that ground way back in the beginning? Someone needs to find this teeny bopper and give him/her a good whack in the head and then proceed to come here and give me a good beating because a) I just shortened my life by approximately 5 minutes completing all the aforementioned, and b) I wasted a further 10 minutes writing about all this. I didn’t mean for this to turn into a full-out rant, but I have a lot of pent up literary rage after doing multiple choice exams for the past two years. Seriously though, that was a big waste of time. I mean I have a life… I need to find a job.